IVF Survivor Reacts to Andrew Schulz’s Stand-Up

Unless you’ve lived through IVF, you can’t possibly understand the highs and lows—the pain and hope, the fear, desperation, anxiety, and about a million other emotions that come with taking the most extreme measures to conceive a life. 

Comedian Andrew Schulz talks about his and his wife Emma’s experience with IVF in his new Netflix special aptly called LIFE. While many people are understandably offended by Schulz’s sometimes flippant and irreverent take on the process, I’m here—as a fellow IVF survivor—to say that if humor made it easier for the first-time dad to get through it, then more power to him!

Andrew Schulz’s Take on IVF Isn’t For Everyone

Tuning into LIFE, I’ll admit I was ready to hate on Schulz—especially after hearing some people weren’t fans of how he tackled such a sensitive topic. Schulz’s humor often crosses the line, with shocking and offensive jokes about race and disabilities that are hard to overlook. For instance, he makes a crude remark of his daughter looking “Puerto Rican” at birth, and even refers to some of the embryos as the “R-word.” These jokes are undeniably offensive and difficult to hear, especially when they hit too close to home.

But as I watched the stand-up, I immediately recognized that humor was Schulz’s way of dealing with the disappointment of having to turn to IVF to have a baby, and the suffering he endured watching his wife go through it.

Indeed, if you endure IVF, I believe you have the right to say whatever you want about it. This is just what Schulz does. In great detail, he takes viewers on the journey with him—from start to finish—as he and Emma try to have a child. They first attempt to get pregnant naturally, then give intrauterine insemination (IUI) a shot, and finally resort to IVF.

Schulz’s wife Emma was a good sport, because he doesn’t hold back on topics ranging from his sperm count, to her moodiness during hormone injections (he even calls her the “c” word—a real low-point) to her eventual labor and delivery. Again, much of the humor is far too off-color for me, and I’ll admit that I cringed several times during the special.

But interspersed among quips about depositing his sperm sample, this stand-up is also a tribute to women (stay with me), with Schulz affirming upfront that IVF, pregnancy, and birth are the hardest on women, and that men like him really don’t have to do much at all—other than watch their partners brave the agony!

In fact, Schulz gets emotional discussing many aspects of their experience, even tearing up when he explains how it felt to watch his wife finally see a positive pregnancy test after taking 30 that were negative, and crying every time.

At one point during the special, he even shares a video documenting the couple’s road to welcoming their baby, and I cried, because I too have been there, from the seemingly-endless injections, to the high-stakes egg retrieval procedure, a clinical-feeling embryo transfer, and like Emma, scary bleeding afterwards.

Using Humor To Cope With Tough Emotions

In the end, although I can empathize with people who were upset over some of Schulz’s jokes, I think he showed tremendous vulnerability and honesty at times, too. For example, Schulz admits that after being overconfident about his virility, he feels like a failure that he and Emma have to take their chances with IVF to try to get pregnant. He candidly discusses his fear about letting her down if the very-pricey process doesn’t work. It’s also clear from his in-depth recounting of the experience that he was right there with Emma for every step of IVF, making this special a love letter of sorts for his wife—no matter how twisted!

Despite the many moments of LIFE in which he used humor that is far too dirty for me and is obviously meant to shock viewers, Schulz’s very last, heartfelt message to the audience really resonated. 

He essentially says that if there’s anyone out there going through something like this, the light at the end of the tunnel—seeing your child—will make you forget everything you went through. As a mom who has suffered several pregnancy losses, and withstood two physically and emotionally grueling IVF cycles, this sentiment hits the nail on the head. Indeed, every time my husband injected me with a needle that looked longer and longer each day, I held a little baby hat to help me remember why I was putting myself through this. 

I’ll even agree with Schulz that laughter can be your salvation in the really tough moments. I wasn’t always able to see things in that light, but at times, I knew if I didn’t laugh, I would cry. Again.

So cheers to Schulz—and Emma, who agreed to share their story—for helping to normalize IVF, even if vulgarity was his way of doing so!