Should Kids Yell ‘Mom’ Instead of ‘Help’ When in Danger?

Though many parents might long for days when their kids aren’t calling their names seemingly every few minutes, there may be some hidden positive yield from it.

In a viral TikTok video from the creator Sierra Noelle (@sierrasaidthat), she explains why she taught her daughter to scream “mom!” instead of “help” if she’s ever in trouble in a public space. Noelle theorizes in the video that when women hear a child scream that word, they’ll immediately rush to check on the child’s safety.

“Women will come to help,” the video’s caption reads. The vid, itself has garnered over 3.7 million likes to this point. 

Folks Across the Board Agree the Instinct is Real

Commenters on the video seem very much on board with this tactic for teaching children how to respond in scary, potentially dangerous situations. One parent says she does something similar in her own family.

“I tell my kids to yell mom and run to a woman,” she writes.

Many commenters share that they don’t have kids themselves, but will always look around for a child in need of help if they hear the word “mom” screamed.

“Heard a little boy scream ‘mom’ and I stepped out into the street to try to see him,” one commenter writes. “You are correct. I have no kids. Women will come.”

“I, a non-mother, also instinctively stop, look and listen when a child’s [sic] scream, any scream, sounds a little too scared. That specific pitch,” another adds.

And several commenters sum it up by calling on another viral TikTok trend, writing “in the ‘clerb’, we all mom”.

Why This Can Be an Effective Tactic

Talking to kids about what they ought to do in alarming situations is so hard—especially because while we want our kids to be cautious and aware, we don’t want to terrify them with these conversations. 

From a behavioral standpoint, Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a New York-based neuropsychologist, gives this approach her stamp of approval, pointing out that yelling “mom” instead of “help” can be a good strategy for kids, particularly when they may feel scared, confused, or overwhelmed.

“Calling out ‘mom’ is a familiar and comforting response,” Dr. Hafeez says. “In a scary situation, a child might feel overwhelmed by the idea of shouting for help in general, but calling out for someone they are emotionally connected to could feel like a more manageable first step.”

Dr. Hafeez explains that while “help” can feel more urgent and specific, yelling “mom” yields a greater chance of attracting the right adult’s attention—particularly a mother who may be more naturally inclined to help any child in distress. 

Even if the child isn’t their own, “It may help by signaling to nearby adults that the child is in distress and looking for someone they trust. It helps others recognize the situation more quickly,” adds Dr. Hafeez.

Why This Might Not Be the Route To Take

Former FBI agent Tracy Walder agrees that hearing the word “mom” will “of course” ignite a woman’s maternal instincts. But Walder took to her own TikTok platform (@theunexpectedspy) to share her own hot take on why she disagrees with this approach.

“‘Help’ is the universally recognized term when one is in distress,” Walder tells Parents. “By telling kids to only yell ‘mom’ [when in danger], you are essentially leaving out half of the population that could potentially help.”

“Now, I absolutely turn around when I hear a child yelling ‘mom’, that is in our nature,” Walder acknowledges. “But, I think there may be times when perhaps there are not moms around or only males around, and teaching a child to exclusively yell ‘mom’ can actually be dangerous and hinder the swiftness of help.”

So, what does this trained safety expert recommend doing instead?

“[Tell your child to] make as much noise as possible, yell ‘help’ and ‘no’,” advises Walder. “Even stating ‘I am in danger’ is effective.”

With that being said, Walder does agree that moms tend to be safe adults for children to approach if they need help while out in public.

“If a child finds themselves lost and cannot find a police officer or other official to go to, the next safest bet would be a woman with children, themselves,” she says.

Dr. Hafeez cosigns, saying, “[Looking for] mothers for assistance when in public is a valuable approach. It relies on the premise that women are more likely to be more compassionate and receptive to a child’s pain. However, putting too much emphasis on gender could make it difficult for children to identify adults who are safe and helpful in different circumstances. Children need to be taught how to check their surroundings and seek support from anyone they perceive to be reliable and available, whether a man or a woman.”

The Word Your Child Yells Isn’t the Only Thing That Matters

When it comes to advising children on how to react to scary situations, it’s not just about the word they scream. As parents, we need to have more in-depth conversations about how they can keep themselves safe.

Dr. Hafeez says we should encourage children to trust their instincts. “Encourage kids to listen to their gut feelings and understand that they should take action if something doesn’t feel right,” she advises. “Teach them to recognize when they feel uncomfortable or unsafe and that it’s okay to leave or seek help immediately.”

Dr. Hafeez goes on to talk about some important safety tips to cover with kids if you know they will be alone in a public place or you happen to get separated.

“Before going to crowded places, help kids familiarize themselves with the layout and the location of safety points (like a store’s front desk, a security guard, or an information kiosk). This can help them quickly find assistance if needed.”